My Mother

by Nancy Perkins
(Texarkana AR)

She had coal black eyes. I've seen her baby picture. I never saw a baby with eyes like that before. I used to be terrified of her when she got angry, which she did a lot. You could never tell what was going to set her off. I never knew what kind of mood she'd be in when I woke up, or came home from school. I hardly ever had any friends. I was a bright kid, told I had a good personality. But I was "too smart for my own good" my dad used to say. I never really had any friends. My friends who came to visit would never come back again. My mom creeped them out too bad. My dad's friends would not come around either. Nobody really liked her; dad's family would have nothing to do with her. When dad's brother Bill came to visit, one of the only times he ever did, he and his wife both slept out in their RV, even though we had plenty of beds. They would not sleep in our house. (Dad's brother was a 32nd degree Mason, too, so the man was not an idiot).
She really like attention. She was always trying to get people to "help" her. One thing she was always doing when I was little was disappearing in stores, usually the grocery, but sometimes big department stores. I'd be looking at something for just a second; I'd turn around, and she'd be gone. I would search and search the store! But I could never find her until she wanted to be found. By that time she would have some store employee corralled to help her "find" her "missing child." She always seemed to enjoy this game.
My grandma (her mother) warned me about my mother shortly before she passed away. She lived with us for several years before that. I think she was trying to protect me from my mother. She said not to take to heart the things my mother said to me. (She was always telling me I was evil, and was going to Hell. Which was strange, because my mom was not religious.) She never went to church, or made me go. I do not have religion. I was not brought up with it and from what I've seen of people who were, I'm glad. Religion has really messed up a lot of people I know.
Later, when I took care of her when she was old, I could not keep home health care workers. And several friends who met her said she was a psychic vampire and was draining their energy when they were around her. I always thought she was just crazy. Now I am not so sure. Demon-human hybrid, is what I'm thinking now. I know myself. I am her child.