Bee Bee Mama's Hand

by Annette Warner
(Wilmington, NC USA)

When my grandmother was dying, I was terribly upset and could not imagine life without her. I loved her so much and the feel of her skin gave me such comfort. I would sit in her lap for hours sometimes while spending the night, or visiting and play with the flap of her arms, and run my hands down her silken arms stopping to grab up the skin and watch it lay back into place when I let it go. She was always patient with it, and her skin taught my touch on others to be loving and gentle when I am holding or caressing. To this day...when I touch someone I am very gentle and that includes my dog! My dog comes after my touch by nosing my hand up.

As I watched Bee Bee Mama lay in her hospital bed, I held her hand and it felt so warm and frail and I prayed to God that I would never forget the feel of her hand in mine. I cupped her hand with both of mine willing the feeling to stay forever. It worked. When I am upset, or when I need her to be with me...I close my eyes, and her hand is there. As if it really is there.

Last night, as I was trying to sleep - I was saying my prayers, and I began to cry - feeling amazement at all the blessings the Lord has given me especially my children and two grandchildren, and prayed that my Mom and Grandma could see them and watch over them and expressed regret that they couldn't share this with me. At that moment..I felt a hand slide into mine...and I smelled my mothers "Charlie" perfume. I don't own any...and the hand felt like it did the day I was sitting by Bee Bee's bed praying to never forget the feel of it. I know now, that my children and grandchildren have their great grandma and great great grandma watching out for them :)